Intentional

Have you ever been asked the question, "What three words define you best?".  I have, in almost every job interview I have ever had.  Well, it has been a REALLY long time since I have had any kind of interview and yet that question has been trailing me around like a two year old who needs a drink, clamoring for attention and sometimes tripping me up.  I have this theory that when you really know who you are and can define what makes you the individual that God so lovingly created, you can move mountains.  Okay maybe not MOUNTAINS, but at least move that clump of dirt that keeps tripping you on your way to your final destination.  I think I am like a lot of other individuals, particularly women, who get lost on our way to the ultimate goal.  I feel pulled in a thousand different directions as I take care of my family, volunteer positions, church callings, and my own health issues as well as the things that I would like to improve about myself.   I would like to reign in my life, wrap my arms around all that I have going on and know the best way I can handle this little thing called life.  Hence the question, "What three words define you best?"  So ever so slowly I think I have come up with the first word on my list.

INTENTIONAL

Many good things in my life have come as a result of thougthfullness, goal setting, and careful consideration in the decision process.  When that happens I am living an intentional life.  That is the life that I want to live.  But there is a flip side, see, the thing about intentions is that they can become stagnant,  I've heard more than once that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  So the challenge is to use your intentions to make the choices you face every day. When you define your intention, then allow action to follow once again we begin to live an intentional life.  I want my decisions to be intentional.  Meaning I want to mean what I do, and I want what I do to have meaning.

Intentions mean that you have thought about the outcome.  I am reminded of my kids playing together, one spinning in a circle haphazardly with a toy in their hand, while the other watches innocently.  The toy then is suddenly released from the first childs' fingers hitting said innocent child in the head.  First thing out of the mouth? (after the initial scream) "But I didn't mean to."  My response is always the same, just because you didn't mean to doesn't mean that you didn't hurt the other person.  I mean have you ever heard someone say,  "I didn't mean to make them happy", or "It was not my fault things turned out so well."?  Good results are usually intended when negative things seem to slip by.  I want to be content with the responsibility that I hold in the outcomes of my life.

I want my actions to truly reflect who I am.  I want to be able to look at how I spent my time and be grateful for the experiences that I have allowed to be a part of my day.  Period.  Because with every choice I intentionally choose to become closer to the person that I want to be.

I believe that when I can start to implement this in my life there will be better balance.  Where there are intentional choices there is balance.  Okay, seriously, that was just a HUGE epiphany for me.  Let me just think about that statement again.  Where there are intentional choices there is balance.  That means that my balance does not have to look like balance in someone else's life.  Thinking about that frees me just a little. If my balance can truly be unique to my life than I can be my own success.  That means balance on a Monday could be full of family obligations and errands, and balance on a Friday may mean a day with time for me and my cute husband, and then a moment when I am all by my sweet self.

A favorite quote of mine has often been stated by Thomas S. Monson, "Our choices determine our destiny", and I believe intentional choices take us where we want to go.

I may not be able to firmly say, "This is who I am.....yet",  but it is who I want to be.

So, the first word that I want to define who I am is INTENTIONAL.