Play in Sacrament Meeting

Day one of my 101 in 1001 journey and I think I may have accomplished the most scary item on my list and can I tell you I am currently doing a happy dance like you can not imagine.  This experience and goal is a LOOOONG time coming.  We are talking almost 30 years.   From the time I was little I remember my mom wanting a piano so much.  I remember her talking about how she wished she could play and wanting that for her own kids.  When I was 10 we finally got a piano, I was in the 5th grade and began piano lessons.  My mom would take me every week and sit and listen during the lesson and then when it came time to practice she would wake me up early and sit in a chair near the piano covered with an afghan.  I loved that first few months of piano.  I loved spending time with my mom and I really liked playing the piano.  A few months into this new adventure my mom became sick and so my Aunt Kay would take me to my lessons.  I missed my mom while i practiced but I was determined to give my mom this gift of learning on her treasured piano.  Sadly my mom was only able to hear one of my recitals.  I still took lessons for three more years, but had to change teachers to make it a little easier for my Aunt to help my get to my lessons.  I am so grateful for all she did, she had eight kids of her own and yet still took time out to help me.  It's disappointing to me but I have to admit I did not work as hard as I should have, in fact a lot of money was spent on my lessons for which I practiced very little.  Finally after eighth grade I ended the charade of taking lessons.  And it ended I didn't play or touch the piano for a very long time.  Then about four years ago in 2007 I had a very strong feeling that I needed to learn to play the piano.  So I picked up a book and in January had good intentions, those good intentions lasted about five weeks, and I thought why do I need to learn this, there are plenty of piano players in the ward I am not really needed.  So again the piano was silent.  In the fall of 2009 our ward was split, and when the dust settled we realized quickly that there was not  very many in our new boundaries that could play.  I realized how important that feeling was and that I had ignored it and the consequences were now staring me in the face.  So once again I opened the dusty piano books, but this time I was serious and found a sweet friend to teach me.  And it has been a challenge.  I have worked and practiced and faced a lot of my fears of not being perfect and performing in front of people.  I have had the opportunity to accompany in Relief Society a couple of times and then about a month ago I received a call to play in Sacrament Meeting.  I'll tell you what every voice in my head was screaming "NOOOOOO", but I found my voice saying "Yes, I think I could do that."  I had started practicing an arrangement of Reverently Quietly by Paul Cardall and figured a month would give me enough time to present it.  So this last week I took time to go over to the church and practice and I honestly did everything I could.  Today was the day, I am so thankful Troy was able to be there, he really is a great support.  All of my kids were telling my I could do it and I knew that they were rooting for me.  I was so incredibly scared but it was interesting because I wasn't as scared of messing up and what people would think as much as  I was scared that I would drive the spirit of the meeting away.  I was shaking so hard that it amazes me that any notes came out let alone the right ones.  I made a few mistakes but I did it.  How grateful I am to my Heavenly Father for the talents that he has blessed me with and the desire to better myself.  By no means does this mean that I  would call myself a pianist, but I am a woman who will face my fears and try to to what I am prompted to do.  I hope my mom was watching today and I hope she knew how much I wanted to make her smile.  If she were here I would thank her because 30 years ago she wanted nothing more than a little music in her home and she gave me this opportunity I had today with out even knowing it.  I love you mom.