Fun Run

At the beginning of the summer when we set our goals everyone had lofty visions of the number of miles we would put in and that we would be running machines by the end of July.  We hoped that we would be ready for the 5k's that we had set for our goals.  Well the first race came and the verdict is in.....we didn't do to bad.  In fact I am pretty darn impressed with those children of ours.  Troy was not with us the night of the community Fun Run so we set out by ourselves.  We got the early so we just hung out for a little while.  Cambelle was getting a little nervous but held in there.  Since this was a community event and we live in a rather small community there were not a huge number of people, in fact there were about four or five families.  One of those families however consists of about six brothers and sisters whose kids are all running machines, they are fun to watch.  Our goal was to finish.  The gun went off, actually the gun wasn't working so the announcer said bang really loud in the microphone, and the race was on.  J.T.  has a much faster pace so he went on ahead.  Sara was with some friends, so Cambelle and I were partners.  It was a really warm evening so I knew it would be tough but those kids hung in there.  J.T. ran the ENTIRE way.  Now the reason that is so impressive is that he hasn't run three miles consecutively ever.  He runs about two when we go, so this was a major step ahead.  Sara ran and walked but kept a great pace.  Cambelle and I also did a lot of alternating between walking and running.  She was a champ and would pick out something in the distance and say, "Let's run to that and then walk for a bit."  There was only once that tears sprang to those cute blue eyes, but she didn't quit and she didn't complain and she ran the last length.  She collapsed at the end but we all finished.  J.T. finished in 32 minutes, Sara 35 minutes and Cambelle and I in 38 minutes.  I know it is a hard thing yet they accomplished it, and we did it together.  I hope that there will be at least one more opportunity for us to run again this summer.

Life moves fast

Every once in awhile I stumble on something that makes me realize how crazy fast this life moves.  We cleaned out a closet and found an SD card.  I popped it into my computer and was greeted with three faces I remember well.  Curly hair, tiny smiles and so much excitement.  I love these faces. These little people are so familiar and yet I feel like it has been an eternity since I was with them.  I am not a person who loves change, yet I am coming to realize that change is inevitable.  I want to learn to embrace change and find the adventure of it all.  I long to look into the future and feel excitement instead of anxiety.  There is no question that life moves fast, I just need to learn to enjoy the ride.  But for now in this moment, I will look at this picture and feel nothing but gratitude for the young people these cute little kids are becoming.  I adore my little family.

The Drive In-150 miles

Even though everyone has been going a thousand different directions we were able to pull off another 50 miles on our chart.  So we were off to the drive in, or the drive thru,  don't ask me why but I kept calling it that and my kids were very confused, as was I.

Monsters University was on the schedule.  We never stay for the second movie, let's be honest I can barely stay awake for the first.  We got there and there was a line of cars, seriously at least 40-45 cars in front of us, I was ready to turn around and even had the kids plan for a "plan B" scenario.   But we got in line and patiently waited 25 minutes.  It reminded me of when I was little, there were so many cars.

We made it in, and this was the line behind us, they said they were only half way to capacity when we bought our tickets.  It was full. 

We brought the truck and three thousand blankets.  Maybe not three thousand, but enough to make the truck bed feel like a luxury hotel.

We snuggled in and it actually got a little warm.

This was our sixth attempt at a selfie, and Troy had given up on the perfect smile and I was laughing so hard I am surprised the picture wasn't blurry.

We settled in with our treats and enjoyed the movie.  We rode home in the back of the truck and looked at the stars and talked and laughed.  The kids said that those 5 minutes might have been their favorite.  I think they were mine.

Girls Night Out

We got to spend the evening together the other night, just us girls.  Troy was with J.T. at scout camp, so we took the opportunity to play.

We started the night at our favorite Italian restaurant.  I told Sara I thought the waiter was flirting with her a bit, she just shook her head.

There was pizza in the middle of this in the beginning.

Cambelle opted for ice cream for dessert (which is totally normal) and Sara and I shared a very yummy lemon cake.  I think she is gaining the love of food from Troy and I.

After dinner we stopped to feed the ducks.  One of our favorite things, there is something about the water and watching the ducks and geese fight over the bread that is an awful lot of fun.

There is a path along the river, so the girls and I took a little walk after the bread was gone.

I feel so blessed to be a mother.  I watch these two together and am so grateful for them.  They are so unique in personality and yet I see them coming together and caring for one another, it makes it all worth while.  I love them so much.

Happy Birthday Mom!

My mom would be 79 years old today.  She is an amazing woman who had a lasting influence on so many people. Even though she has been gone for 28 years, I still run into people who remember her and speak very highly of her.  I don't remember a lot about her but I do remember how she made me feel.  I knew I was loved.  The things I do remember I treasure.  I remember that she would lose her glasses often, even when they were attached to the chain she wore around her neck.  I remember that she would lie on her stomach and look at the Kings ad in front of the fire.  I remember watching her flip pancakes early in the morning.  I remember Sunday dinners with chicken and potato salad.  I remember that when I was sick during the night if I coughed loud enough she would come and get me out of bed and rub vapor rub on my chest and cover it with a warm cloth.  I don't remember a lot being said during those moments but I loved that we were together.  I remember that she did not wear make up and her hair was rarely "fixed".  I remember how she loved her family and was always trying to find ways to keep us close.  I remember always knowing that for birthdays or Christmas you could get her a pair of salt and pepper shakers.  I remember that one Christmas I wanted to get her something extra special so I used what little money I had to buy her some pot holders.  I took the time to embroidery her initial on it.  I sewed the letter "M", for mom, to me it was better than her name.  I remember her hugs and how they seemed to make everything right.  

My fondest wish is for my children to know this beautiful woman who meant the world to me.  I take comfort in knowing that she held them before they came to earth and kissed them the way I know she longs to now.   I know she is near, I know that she watches over them.

She is a woman I love and admire.  She is my mom.

She was born July 9, 1934, the third child and first daughter of Fay and Emma Wasden.

She was known for her red hair and fair skin.

She married Marvin Nelson on May 10, 1957.

This is the car that my dad drove home from his mission.

Her hands were always busy.

My parents loved each other very much.  They weren't openly affectionate very often but there was a deep love. When my mom was sick there was a time when she was in bed and not able to get up.  One day my dad spent some time with her just lying by her side.  I remember her saying how much she loved that time.  My dad adored my mom, he spoke so lovingly of her to me.  Yet there was often regret in his words because he was so concerned that he didn't do enough while she was alive.  This love was enduring and gifted me with the example of what could be for me one day.

I am forever grateful that I am her daughter, what an honor.

Moments that change you

I have thought a lot about the events that happen in ones life that shapes who they become.  These events are filled with moments that can be recalled with amazing clarity.  These moments, when thought of, can bring the same joy, sorrow, or tragic emotions back as if they were happening in the here and now, that is how clear the memories are.

Let me share with you one of those events:

I was eleven years old, on the verge of entering that crazy world of adolescence.  I had just started the sixth grade, you remember the sixth grade, everyone is a little awkward and trying to figure out where and how they fit in.  You absolutely so do not want to be different.  It was evening and I had just got out of the shower and the late summer air was surrounding me from the open windows.

My mom and dad were in Mexico.  My mom had been receiving treatments for the cancer that she had been fighting for nine months.  My sister and I were at home while my older brother, who had graduated the previous spring, was at work.  As I was looking through my closet thinking about the ever important decision of what I would wear the following day I heard someone come into the house.  It was my 2nd oldest brother and his wife.  I had a sick feeling.  I didn't want them there, I knew that there was only one reason for them to be there, and I didn't want it to be true.  I don't remember the words that were said, it didn't matter, she was gone.  My beautiful mother was gone.  I don't recall yelling or screaming, or saying the word "NO!" like I imagined I would.  I do remember the tears, the never ending supply of tears.  They offered to stay the night.  I don't remember if they did.  Somehow it didn't matter, I was alone.  I could have been surrounded by a thousand people in that moment and I still would have been alone.

I decided to go to school the next morning.  A decision thought odd by many, but I knew I didn't want to answer the door when the cookies and casseroles started to arrive.  I didn't want to look into the eyes of the women who had come to my home to help my mom quilt and can and see the hopelessness and the sadness.  The look that said silently "You poor little girl, you are alone now".  I rode the bus and sat by myself and looked out the window.  I gazed into the beautiful blue sky and thought that my life would never be the same.  I thought about school dances and graduation.  I thought about getting married and my own kids that I might have one day, and I knew that there would forever be a gaping hole. Tears once again came.

When I arrived at school I don't know what I expected but I don't think it could have been much worse than what happened.  I walked into my classroom and there were whispers all around me.  Then my teacher looked up from her desk, surprised to see me and said, "didn't your mom die last night?"  I was so shocked, and taken aback.  I whispered "yes", and she then responded "What are you doing here?"  I thought I had done something wrong, I didn't know how to answer her.  There were no kind words or moments of understanding at school that day.  Just odd looks from people and the reminder that I was very alone in this. It was a very long day.

I was befuddled, confused and didn't have anyone to comfort me.  That is all I wanted.  Our family wasn't exactly a touchy, feely family, but I was, and my mom had always been there for me.  She was the one who would hug me and let me cuddle up next to her when she was on the couch.  Again, I was reminded of my solitude.  I looked forward to my dad coming home.  I don't know why because I really didn't feel close to him.  He was always working, very quiet and I never spent time with him.  But he was my last connection to my mom.  He had been with her when she died.  I guess I had hopes that she had given him a message for me or something.  He was coming home with my oldest brother.  I sat at the front window with the drapes blanketed around me waiting, watching, breathing.  I saw the car pull up and park.  I ran, out the door, down the drive way and straight into the arms of this man that was in many ways a stranger to me.  Yet we had a connection, we needed each other.  Sobbing I buried my head deep in the hug, and I heard him say over and over "Oh dear".  We walked together into the house and my awkward, to old to be held, 11 year old self climbed onto his lap.  "Oh dear".

The funeral was planned.  We gathered as a family around the woman who held us together, and said our last goodbyes.  I had written her a poem for mother's day and I placed it in her hand as someone slipped off the turquoise ring she always wore.  They handed the ring to me and I put it on my tiny finger.  It would be years before it would fit me.  They were ready to close the casket and I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't breathe, I didn't want to breathe.  I once again found a place in my dads arms.  We clung to one another as we followed her for the last time.  Beautiful words were spoken and songs were sung. And oh so many tears were shed.


When it was over and returned to the church for lunch, I am sure that we ate ham, cheesy funeral potatoes, and jello with whipped cream on top but I didn't taste anything.  I was very aware that my childhood was over.  At least the childhood that I knew.  I sat quietly watching life go on.  I didn't know if I could.  Then a cousin came by, touched my arm and asked if I wanted to go outside.  I followed the group out into the sunshine.  There on the grass in our Sunday dresses and ties we played tag.  I laughed for the first time in what seemed like eternity and I knew that I would adapt.

Those few days in the early fall of 1985 certainly shaped who I am today.  I was faced with my greatest fear and survived.  I became fiercely independent and quickly learned how to take care of myself.  I understood that life was oh so precious and that love was meant to be expressed.  There were many challenges that came because of this experience, yet so many blessings.  The blessing are what matter.  The blessings are what shaped me.  The blessings are what allow you to see farther and become what the Lord knows you can become.  I love my mom, I miss her, I long to see her again.  Yet, I would not want to trade who I am.  I am grateful the Lord knows me better than I know myself.  I am grateful for moments that shape you.

4th of July 2013 - part 2

Once the parade is over we are back for the cookout and eventual water fight.  This year we had that cute dog to keep us company.   My kids were all clamoring to get one just like her.

When we get together there are so many cute little kids wandering around.  It's fun watching my nieces and nephews in the same stage as I so fondly remember my own siblings in.  Let me tell you these kids are fun to watch.

There is always target practice.  Seriously it makes me cringe every time someone gets hit.  Which usually happens when a wife or girl friend is the one aiming and the significant other is on the fence, motivation is a powerful tool.

See?  Cute, right?

Then the buckets come out, and a lot of us move to the deck that is the unofficial "safe zone".

Team work.

This tug of war went on for about 5 minutes, neither one wanted to give up.

This has to be one of my favorite shots.  My nephew was lucky enough to marry this cute girl and she is pretty darn great.  I think this is the first year that they were able to make the water fight cookout, and apparently he decided a little initiation was in order.  She has a blog that I love, and shared some great photos from today.  

The fire works were delayed this year for an hour.  We waited and right before we were getting ready to leave they started.  As always a great show.  Another successful holiday, lots of great memories.  I'm just a little annoyed with myself that I didn't get any pictures of my brother and his wife.  They stayed the weekend and we had an enormous amount of fun.  I love it when they come up.

Until next year........